Author: ActuallyAlexandra

My First Love

~ ActuallyAlexandra ~ Leave a comment

My first “love” was Scott. I was 14 and he was 17. (yea I know the age difference is weird now, but back when I was 14 I didn’t care. My parents on the other hand hated it. So being the rebel that I am, I snuck out a lot and did a lot of lying. lol Scott was the one whom I gave my virginity to, and I just recently found out he was his first too.

Scott was a pothead and back then I was a NO DRUGS person(obviously that was before I tried them) He was also addicted to pain killers which I didn’t find out until here recently. We dated for a good 2 years and his family loved me and still does. After we broke up we didn’t talk for a long time and he got some crazy girl pregnant(no seriously she’s a fucking loon) they broke up after they had the kid or some shit which really is irrelevant to what i’m trying to get out. Anyway about three months ago I read some post from his sisters about how they wish they could just see him one more time and about all the things they would say to him. My first thought was OMG he died! So I message his sisters asking whats wrong and if he died. They told me no he didn’t die he was just in a rehab because of meth addiction. So, me being the good person I am, figure out which rehab he is in and go visit him for his birthday and we got to catch up. About a week after I went to visit him he left the rehab and returned to town and the first thing he did was get his fix. I tried and I tried to help him stay sober after he left rehab, until I got completely fed up with all the bullshit excuses he kept giving me. Its like saying ” you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink it..” Now the only time I hear from him is when he needs a ride somewhere and when he asked that I ask him if he’s sober. He’s never sober, so i never give him a ride.

I remember when we broke up, I was so heart broken. I remember crying for days and asking God why. Well now I know why. See, the funny thing about pain is that it might hurt today, but the hurt you feel today will be the happiness you feel tomorrow.

Meet Kevin

~ ActuallyAlexandra ~ Leave a comment

Let me tell you about Kevin… Hmmm where to start..? He’s tall, fit, and has beautiful green eyes! He’s super smart, has a really good job, and he’s about 10 years older than me.  We talk pretty much every day but don’t actually see each other much.  When thing first stared with me and Kevin it was supposed to be only sex, butttttttt now we talk more than bang(yea, I said bang).  I think he really likes me, I know I really like him. Sadly, this “thing” we have going on will never go anywhere. Why? Oh, did I forget to mention he’s married? Yep, married. I met Kevin about 5 years ago through family and I remember the moment I saw him knew I had to have him. You can say I  put him on my bucket list and once something is on my bucket list I’ll get even if it does take like almost 5 years. From the outside his marriage looks perfect. He looks like the perfect man. I was always so jealous of the relationship I thought the two had. Turns out it was like every other marriage, no sex, nagging wife, and now a mistress aka me.  Listen,  I don’t like being the other woman but let him go down on you and tell me you wouldn’t wanna stay. I mean it’s like having my cake and eating it to, although, if this cake would be a lot better with gifts and drinks lol I can’t really complain though seeing how I’m the mistress.  Well that’s Kevin. I know I forgot a few things so if you have any questions about him just ask me!

Hello World!

~ ActuallyAlexandra ~ 5 Comments

For my first post I want to thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. I’m new at this so bare with me. This is going to be like my journal. You will know everything about me before too long. I understand a lot of people are going to judge me but I could care less. Well I hope you all enjoy what you read! Ask me anything! Help me build my blog! Stay Golden!